Crabs, shrimps and other crustaceans its that time of year again when all crustaceans must look into the abyss and see one of 2 things.
Either you will see evidence of your up to date USGA handicap index registered with a recognized club or you will just see the abyss. It's that simple. If you see evidence of your up to date USGA handicap index registered with a recognized club then your crustacean world is a happy place and all you need to do is provide a copy of that evidence to the supreme commander in chief of decency, handicaps, the decent folks party and all that is just and right in the world aka Seamus. End of story.
If however you just see the abyss then that is another matter. Sometimes the abyss is hard to recognize because it is a tricky, indecent, foul beast that, unlike Danny, does not "want to be good" and can disguise itself in many clever ways. It might disguise itself as any of the following and comes in infinite variations all foul, all loathsome and all needing to be crushed by goodness, rightness and decency so that the decent handicap maintaining actively playing folk can see these abominations run before them while the abominations women lament.
Examples of the abyss:
(1) oh my average score is about 95 so i am a 23;
or (2) i havent played much lately but my last round was 102 so i figure i am about a 30;
or (3) i was a 12 when i was 14 years old but i am about a 16 now.
If you see the abyss just send the word "abyss" and a guess as to your handicap. A ruling will be made by the Star Chamber.