The Hairy Crab Desert Classic
April 28- May 2 2024
Palm Springs, CA
Crabs, shrimps and other crustaceans its that time of year again when all crustaceans must look into the abyss and see one of 2 things.
Either you will see evidence of your up to date USGA handicap index registered with a recognized club or you will just see the abyss. It's that simple. If you see evidence of your up to date USGA handicap index registered with a recognized club then your crustacean world is a happy place and all you need to do is provide a copy of that evidence to the supreme commander in chief of decency, handicaps, the decent folks party and all that is just and right in the world aka Seamus. End of story.
If however you just see the abyss then that is another matter. Sometimes the abyss is hard to recognize because it is a tricky, indecent, foul beast that, unlike Danny, does not "want to be good" and can disguise itself in many clever ways. It might disguise itself as any of the following and comes in infinite variations all foul, all loathsome and all needing to be crushed by goodness, rightness and decency so that the decent handicap maintaining actively playing folk can see these abominations run before them while the abominations women lament.
Examples of the abyss:
(1) oh my average score is about 95 so i am a 23;
or (2) i havent played much lately but my last round was 102 so i figure i am about a 30;
or (3) i was a 12 when i was 14 years old but i am about a 16 now.
If you see the abyss just send the word "abyss" and a guess as to your handicap. A ruling will be made by the Star Chamber.
Update your handicap on your website profile and/or send an email to Seamus.
Hairy Crab 2023 - "Beaches and Holes"
Itinerary
Sunday April 2nd
Practice Round & Opening Night @ The Old Memorial
Grab an Uber to Old Memorial Golf Club near Tampa International Airport. We've got your course and hotel transport covered til Wednesday night.
1:00pm Practice Round, Old Memorial Golf Club
Got a foursome ? Let Joey know via HC WeChat group
Looking for a game ? Let Joey know via HC WeChat
Not playing ? Let Joey know via HC WeChat
7:00pm Dinner, Team Draw, Calcutta, Old Memorial Golf Club
Bring $USD cash for Calcutta, all teams must be paid in full
Accomodations @Old Memorial Golf Club
Monday April 3rd
Better Ball @ Old Memorial Golf Club
1:00pm First tee time - Better Ball
Lowest price Calcutta teams off first
7:00pm Dinner at Old Memorial and late night entertainment
Accomodations at Old Memorial
Tuesday April 4th
Scramble @ Feather Sound Country club
9:00am Bus leaves Old Memorial for Feather Sound
Be fully packed and loaded as we're moving to new accomodations.
11:00am First tee time - Scramble
Bottom of the leaderboard off first
6:00pm Bus to St. Pete
7:30pm Dinner downtown St Pete
Accomodation at Hyatt St Pete
Wednesday April 5th
Alternate Shot @ Pasadena Yacht & CC, Closing Ceremonies
10:30am Bus departs Hyatt for Pasadena YCC
12:30pm First Tee Time - Alternate Shot
Bottom of the leaderboard off first
17:30pm Food, Drinks and Prizes @ Jones Patio (near clock)
19:00pm Bus Departure to Hyatt St Pete
Accommodations at Hyatt St Pete
Evening on the town
Important Details
1. Busses will leave at the times mentioned.
2. Old Memorial has caddies. You need to pay your caddies cash directly. Figure $125 per day for the Practice Round and Day 1.
3. Stew will detail golf rules on opening night.
4. 4 rounds of golf included in your package. 4 dinners as well.
5. The preferred currency of this year's event is $USD.. Please no FEC, Zambian Kwacha, Scottish Pounds or Eritrean promisary notes. Cash.
6. You are responsible for making sure that your clubs and luggage (Mon. am) get on the bus.
7. We need auction and raffle items for our charity. Please be creative and generous. Email Joe with your donations.
The Hairy Crab has an amazing group of supporters, both within China and globally, who offer their valuable time as a volunteer and/or donate cash or auction items to the cause. We are all thankful for these efforts and welcome your contributions again this year.
In recent years we've offered some really cool auction items including....
- Trips to Pebble Beach, Phuket, Moganshan, Spring City and Florida
- F1 Track Ferrari test drives and coaching
- Golf packages from Sheshan, Binhai and other clubs
- Signed golf memorabilia from Masters champons
- An hour of drinking with your friends at the Big Bamboo
Check out our auction items pages for details. If you want to get an early bid in or if you've got an item to add to the auction send an email to Joey T. He loves it when you do this.
Please note that 100% of all funds contributed to the Hairy Crab goes directly to the designated charities. We also do our best to monitor how the charities spend our funds, to minimize the overhead and maximize the benefit to our kids!